I DID SOME THINGS

Soooo it's been a few months, internet. I lied, and I'm sorry. My posts are still infrequent, but now I have REAL REASONS.

Things have changed greatly since the last time I posted. I mean, one thing that hasn't changed is my relationship. Last month, my first anniversary with my boyfriend just passed, and it's pretty badass. We do cool things, and are basically a combination of two 5 year-olds skipping, and a pair of 40 year olds talking about world politics and physics. 

As you can tell, I'm too lazy to draw a picture, but I hope that this gets my point across.

I have also done the impossible! I HAVE MOVED OUT. 

Due to some conveniently acquired funds, I was able to move out in December, with my wonderful boyfriandmanthing. It was a pretty cut and dry move, and everything luckily went smoothly. The actual transition into the apartment was pretty easy. Although, getting used to the practically closet-sized bathroom was.... interesting. Sometimes I still find myself having a difficult time showering in such a small space.

 

We live in a basement, which is also surprisingly more pleasant then one would assume. When you think of basements, a dark, damp, cold place comes to mind for most. Fortunately enough, that was not the case here.

I certainly looked a MUCH worse apartments.

Shortly after moving into the apartment, things became financially... sad. Well, to a point of pathetic really. Matt and I primarily subsisted off of pure will-power, and the sodium content of our own tears.

On occasion, his mother would give us groceries, but often times those didn't really help much. Once, she literally gave us the following list:

3 Twinkies

6 Pogos

Half a package of hot dogs

3.5 Timbits 

1 Can of H

1 Box of Kool Aid singles (and many more came after)

1 Sample bag of bruschetta chips

2 Apples

1 Jar of peanut butter

1 Box of Vanilla Oreo Straws

For the record, I have not yet been brave enough to open the can we have marked "H" yet. I think it will likely outlive me. 

With finances at an all-time low, and rent needing to be paid... and needing to NOT die of starvation, both myself and my manthing went out in search of jobs. Now, I believe I have posted about my pathetic lack of jobs a great many times, so I was a bit behind the curve. And luckily for me, I did get some student loans to help, and the lovely and ongoing assistance of my mother.

Manthing got a job first, and then quit (because it was hella stressful), and now jobs once more in something a lot more relaxed. 

I went back to the lucrative world of sign-holding for awhile at the beginning of the summer. I was working for what I call a "sign-pimp". He basically just hired a tonne of sign-holders to work in different locations, but was also the weirdest combination of douchebag and nice guy. I can't insert a text chart, and I'm too lazy to go draw one, as I wasn't planning on this needing to be a thing, and I make this up as a go along.

Douchebag Category:

- White Cadillac

- Crammed people into the car

- Often stranded me hours away from home, without a way back (when he promised to drive me back)

- Produced awkwardly shaped signs

- Yelled at me for listening to music

- Yelled at me for not hearing him honking at me

- DVD Player in his car (to play talking animal movies and reruns of the Simpsons)

- Generally a skeezy guy from the 90's

Nice Category:

- Paid me on every time

- Punctual to picking me up

- Often made small-talk

- Treated me nice most of the time

I think the douchebag category wins. 

So, as I went back to something I swear I'd never do, I continued the search for a new job. As always, I had many near-hits-turned-misses, interviews that I knew would never work out, and all that jazz. And sign-holding was getting to a point that was half-passed unbearable. And of course, bills were beginning to happen, because 5 months without internet or food takes its toll. Not to mention, the reality that I need money to finish my schooling was finally sinking in. Financial responsibility is hard. 

Until one day... the unthinkable happened...

I GOT HIRED.

Yep. That's right. I GOT HIRED. I did a thing. 

I actually have

2 JOBS.

2 OF THEM. 

Two whole jobs. 

I now work in a call-centre, calling you at dinner time, to ask you personal questions that make you uncomfortable. But the cool part is, I don't try to sell you anything. All I do is ask people stuff, with moderate success. I'm generally good at my job, and I actually enjoy it, I'd say. Even though some days end up leaving me wanting to curl into a ball and never emerge. 

Okay, so I'm the worst at drawing computers ever.

I now do adult things, like have money, and bills, and groceries. I've been working there since sometime in May or June I believe, which is super cool. The money's not bad and I actually enjoy everything pretty well. And it kind of occurred to me that I have all of the things that a lot of people in my age bracket generally want.

I've got an apartment, a job (2 of 'em), and a relationship (a good one!), and those are kind of the main things I see plastered everywhere. People hating living with their parents, or rampant unemployment in my age bracket, or horrible luck with the opposite sex. 

Yep. I did it, Internet. And if I can, I'm pretty sure anyone can. I'd say I'm starting out my 20's on a good fucking note.

And tomorrow, I'm going to eat a tonne of sushi and sleep until 2pm. Fuck yeah.

So, fare thee well Internet. I don't know when I'll post again, but to be honest, I have a lot of stories to tell now that I'm employed. Especially about shit that I find annoying (jobs give you so many pet peeves!!). And I really want to start doing awesome stuff again.

Until we meet again.~

LATE NIGHT BLOGGING - (Yes, I Know it's Been Almost a Year)

Hey there, Internet. Yes, I know it's almost been a year. I also know that no one reads this, so it doesn't mean much. Maybe that's why I don't keep up with this thing as consistently as I would have liked. I think I'll try to do more posts than yearly. Y'know...

A lot has changed, Internet, so I don't much know where to begin. 

I'm still faithfully unemployed, and living at home with my mother. Both of those factors suck immensely, but they're not things that are easily changed. (The whole "job" thing is a might terrifying for me, and all...)

SO, I guess I should begin with the past year. I'll do a visual itemized list or some bullshit... I dunno... I'll have to check to see what's been important. 

So, in December I fainted for the... I think it was the first time. Of course, I fainted in probably one of the worst ways possible.

And.... I broke my teeth. I was really painful.

^ Yeaaaaah Dat sexy mouth right there is mine, and the front teeth are... yeah. Kind of broken. They're fixed now, obviously, but for awhile, I became a MASTER EXPERT SOUP CRAFTER. I also couldn't close my jaw... That was pretty shitty, and pretty much the crowning event of my December.

What else happened...? 

January was... boring. 

Meh. 

February is where all the action is~

So February, I Facebook married my wife (ie one of my best friends), and we celebrated on Valentine's Day with waffles.~

Obviously it looked better in real life. But waffles are delicious. 

February was also when I made an amazing new friend, whom, I will mention again later. But he's pretty important, y'know, to me.

March... Not much happened except for the fact that I discovered that I hate Natalie Portman. A lot.

Fuck that bitch. She made Thor less epic.

In April, my house went up for sale. At first, it was an exciting wait, thinking that, in no time, I'd be in my own apartment in Toronto. Of course... it didn't work out that way.  Now it just feels like... This....

So... still waiting for my house to sell. And of course, this means terribad financial straits, my mother getting crazier by the second, and everything going... atrociously. But eh. I still live a place. 

May was pretty awesome. Went to my second Kinetik Festival, and to yet another Anime North. Very good all around. EXCEPT FOR THE FACT THAT I BOUGHT A HEY! ARNOLD POSTER AND LOST IT. I'm still very disappointed in myself.

June... well by June, myself and this friend that I met in February, texted each other enough to basically write a full length novel DAILY. It was ridiculous. But amazing. And by that time we'd started making shit up like this...

Yes, before you ask, that is a Lumberjack Surfer God.

And then... in June I did two major emotional things that I probably should have much earlier in the year.

First, I cut certain ties with someone. It was very painful, and uncomfortable, but we're still friends, so it's not so bad. 

Secondly, I told this friend of mine that I had an emotional affinity towards him.

AND IT WAS RECIPROCATED. Which is awesome. 

And then we spent the summer in our underwear, watching Are You Afraid of the Dark, Sheep in the Big City, and Spider Man cartoons. 

Until my mom came home from a near two month excursion away, and then it was lame.

But it's still good. And it makes me feel all wiggly and happy. I don't like to be sentimental. 

And now it's... now. Really. Not much else has gone on. Just school, and still being mildly pathetic. 

That's some of my year, Internet. I'll try to update more, I suppose. I'll definitely write a riveting tale of triumph when I move out finally (whenever that will be).

YEAH!~

I Fail at Everything and am Dirt

So, as the title says, that's at least how I feel. Realistically, I know this not to be 100% accurate. I only fail at some things, and am only dirt in certain situations.

Lately, things have been a bit crazy. Well, at least since the 31st, at least. Goth Christmas, Halloween, whatever you want to call it, that's when badness began. It SHOULD have been a magnificent day, and it was at the end. But the beginning.... not s'much.

For school, I have to do this thing called placement. It's essentially gaining experience in my field in a real life setting.

I don't want to do placement.

I have a good few reasons. I mean, this one is with children, and I hate children. And it's far, and well... I suppose the biggest reason would be that I have a lovely little thing called "performance anxiety". Which essentially means that if I have any amount of responsibility to anyone but myself, I freak out.

And begin to have feelings of inadequacy, intense fear, self-loathing, and overall just a sense of being generally hated for any small  mistake I make. 

I end up apologizing a lot more than I should, having panic attacks, sleepless nights, and racing thoughts.

My anxiety over this particular placement has been higher than basically ever before. And I technically haven't even started yet because I'm a fuck up. 

Because I've been so up in arms and anxious for the past few days, yesterday, my body just... gave up. And then I fell into depression.

Well, maybe depression is the wrong word. More like... emotional exhaustion. A lot of other crap has been happening too, and so combining that with my body just being too tired to be anxious any more, well... There yah go.

Of course, depression/exhaustion made me avoidant of important tasks, thus making me more anxious, and bringing about a terrible circle of doom.

So there's a little tidbit of what's been goin' on. I know I've been hella lazy lately with the updates, and for that, Internet, I apologize.

HOWEVER. I now keep a "vlog" as it were, highlighting my escapades through video. OooooOOOOooooh fancy AND original.

http://www.youtube.com/user/ADonkeyNamedLewis

So, if you want to watch me be awkward in front of a camera, here you go!
I will update again later, Inernet. Eventually.