LATE NIGHT BLOGGING - (Yes, I Know it's Been Almost a Year)

Hey there, Internet. Yes, I know it's almost been a year. I also know that no one reads this, so it doesn't mean much. Maybe that's why I don't keep up with this thing as consistently as I would have liked. I think I'll try to do more posts than yearly. Y'know...

A lot has changed, Internet, so I don't much know where to begin. 

I'm still faithfully unemployed, and living at home with my mother. Both of those factors suck immensely, but they're not things that are easily changed. (The whole "job" thing is a might terrifying for me, and all...)

SO, I guess I should begin with the past year. I'll do a visual itemized list or some bullshit... I dunno... I'll have to check to see what's been important. 

So, in December I fainted for the... I think it was the first time. Of course, I fainted in probably one of the worst ways possible.

And.... I broke my teeth. I was really painful.

^ Yeaaaaah Dat sexy mouth right there is mine, and the front teeth are... yeah. Kind of broken. They're fixed now, obviously, but for awhile, I became a MASTER EXPERT SOUP CRAFTER. I also couldn't close my jaw... That was pretty shitty, and pretty much the crowning event of my December.

What else happened...? 

January was... boring. 

Meh. 

February is where all the action is~

So February, I Facebook married my wife (ie one of my best friends), and we celebrated on Valentine's Day with waffles.~

Obviously it looked better in real life. But waffles are delicious. 

February was also when I made an amazing new friend, whom, I will mention again later. But he's pretty important, y'know, to me.

March... Not much happened except for the fact that I discovered that I hate Natalie Portman. A lot.

Fuck that bitch. She made Thor less epic.

In April, my house went up for sale. At first, it was an exciting wait, thinking that, in no time, I'd be in my own apartment in Toronto. Of course... it didn't work out that way.  Now it just feels like... This....

So... still waiting for my house to sell. And of course, this means terribad financial straits, my mother getting crazier by the second, and everything going... atrociously. But eh. I still live a place. 

May was pretty awesome. Went to my second Kinetik Festival, and to yet another Anime North. Very good all around. EXCEPT FOR THE FACT THAT I BOUGHT A HEY! ARNOLD POSTER AND LOST IT. I'm still very disappointed in myself.

June... well by June, myself and this friend that I met in February, texted each other enough to basically write a full length novel DAILY. It was ridiculous. But amazing. And by that time we'd started making shit up like this...

Yes, before you ask, that is a Lumberjack Surfer God.

And then... in June I did two major emotional things that I probably should have much earlier in the year.

First, I cut certain ties with someone. It was very painful, and uncomfortable, but we're still friends, so it's not so bad. 

Secondly, I told this friend of mine that I had an emotional affinity towards him.

AND IT WAS RECIPROCATED. Which is awesome. 

And then we spent the summer in our underwear, watching Are You Afraid of the Dark, Sheep in the Big City, and Spider Man cartoons. 

Until my mom came home from a near two month excursion away, and then it was lame.

But it's still good. And it makes me feel all wiggly and happy. I don't like to be sentimental. 

And now it's... now. Really. Not much else has gone on. Just school, and still being mildly pathetic. 

That's some of my year, Internet. I'll try to update more, I suppose. I'll definitely write a riveting tale of triumph when I move out finally (whenever that will be).

YEAH!~

I Fail at Everything and am Dirt

So, as the title says, that's at least how I feel. Realistically, I know this not to be 100% accurate. I only fail at some things, and am only dirt in certain situations.

Lately, things have been a bit crazy. Well, at least since the 31st, at least. Goth Christmas, Halloween, whatever you want to call it, that's when badness began. It SHOULD have been a magnificent day, and it was at the end. But the beginning.... not s'much.

For school, I have to do this thing called placement. It's essentially gaining experience in my field in a real life setting.

I don't want to do placement.

I have a good few reasons. I mean, this one is with children, and I hate children. And it's far, and well... I suppose the biggest reason would be that I have a lovely little thing called "performance anxiety". Which essentially means that if I have any amount of responsibility to anyone but myself, I freak out.

And begin to have feelings of inadequacy, intense fear, self-loathing, and overall just a sense of being generally hated for any small  mistake I make. 

I end up apologizing a lot more than I should, having panic attacks, sleepless nights, and racing thoughts.

My anxiety over this particular placement has been higher than basically ever before. And I technically haven't even started yet because I'm a fuck up. 

Because I've been so up in arms and anxious for the past few days, yesterday, my body just... gave up. And then I fell into depression.

Well, maybe depression is the wrong word. More like... emotional exhaustion. A lot of other crap has been happening too, and so combining that with my body just being too tired to be anxious any more, well... There yah go.

Of course, depression/exhaustion made me avoidant of important tasks, thus making me more anxious, and bringing about a terrible circle of doom.

So there's a little tidbit of what's been goin' on. I know I've been hella lazy lately with the updates, and for that, Internet, I apologize.

HOWEVER. I now keep a "vlog" as it were, highlighting my escapades through video. OooooOOOOooooh fancy AND original.

http://www.youtube.com/user/ADonkeyNamedLewis

So, if you want to watch me be awkward in front of a camera, here you go!
I will update again later, Inernet. Eventually.

Inner-City Nun

This is a rap.

Yo I'm an inner-city nun

Y'all can't fuck wit' mah gun

I'm married to the Father

Holy Ghost and the Son

Mah pimp is an abbot,

I ain't breakin' this habit

When I take out my rosary,

I know you wanna grab it

I don't wanna reproduce

Chastity is what I use

Poverty, obedience

Nothing that I can abuse

I took a solemn vow

And y'all can't stop me now

When they see me in the abbey

They sure know what I'm about

Ah yeah I'm reppin' this church

There ain't no where else to search

For spiritual fulfillment

And a bitchin' place to perch

Charity, philosophy

They give me all that I will need

To get in to heaven

And some afterlife security

And now I lay me down to sleep

I pray the lord my soul to keep

And I won't die before I wake

I'm the goodest sister on this heap

Amen.

-----------

My object was to confuse and amuse, and I hope I've done that.

This joke spawned from years of me being well...  myself. Back in 9th grade, I had my sights set on becoming a nun. Not because I'm religious in any way, but because I wanted to be a recluse, and that seemed like the best way to do it.

Now that I'm older, and have grown a fondness for the city, I feel that being a nun would still be a good option for social seclusion, but I would never want to be parted from the city. So I decided to become an "inner-city" nun. Discussing this with my friends led to... this. Because, inner-city is automatically associated with basketball. (You know it's true) And for some reason, I'd have to wear PVC. I think its a good plan.