Blog Archive

Wednesday, November 3, 2010

Things I Hate (Part 2: An Indefinite Part Series)

Internet, I've noticed that we have issues in our society.
I'm not talking economy or important shit like that. I'm talking about fashion. What people wear.
I've been considering a post on how much I hate idiots and their fashion, but I've decided to finally just go for it.

This is: Things I Hate: The Fashion Installment.

First on the chopping block: Skinny jeans.

I don't mind the premise of skinny jeans. In fact, I've worn and owned a pair, and worn them well. The article of clothing itself isn't what makes me angry, is how they are worn, how often they are worn, and who they are worn by.

My first complaint is boys wearing skinny jeans.

It will not look good, not matter how much you think it does. I don`t want to see your boxers, when they`re so low, but so tight, it makes you look like you have horse ankles.

I especially don`t like the saggy crotch aspect.

This, is why a larger girl should not wear skinny jeans, generally.

At least, not skinny jeans that are OBVIOUSLY not her size. I have seen bigger girls wear them well, and I`ve seen twice as many wear them horribly. A little muffin top can be cute, but a lotta muffin top means you've been eating too many muffins for those pants, so take them off. Now.

When your pants are stressed to the point of seam-bursting, don't wear them. Skinny jeans don't make you look skinny.

I would get into how much I hate gangster style as a whole, but I think every blog on the internet has covered that by now. We all know it looks completely retarded.

Next! Shoes. Bad ones.

Ugh! Uggs. I hate them. They're shapeless, they're awful, they're UGG-LY. AGH. THEY ARE SO STUPID.


Out of all of the fashion trends I hate, Uggs have to be at the top, or close to it. They are sinful, and horrible. They should NOT be worn in the goddamn summer time. Holy dammit. I hate everything.

I hate everyone who wears these in public, and I hate the human race for allowing these to be worn by their children. Crocs, are awful. I don't give a pair of flying rhinoceros nuts how "comfortable" they are. To be honest, you should feel uncomfortable. I know I feel uncomfortable when I look like a complete tool in public.

Wearing these around your house, or to garden, is fine. But in public? Please. Don't.

 So, I said that wearing slippers in public would look less stupid than Crocs, and I stand by this statement. HOWEVER, that doesn't give you permission to wear slippers in public.
That's basically what flats are. I can understand on an excruciatingly hot day when you have sweaty feat. But really, I shouldn't see these in September. The functionality of flats is basically non-existent. Your feet are not protected in any way, and they look lazy, to be honest.

Track pants don't make you athletic when you wear them in public. They make you look lazy, and lumpy. They're not DESIGNED to look good, they're designed to be comfy. And comfort is a good thing, yes, but looking like you at least TRIED when you rolled out of bed that morning is also a good thing.

Also, ladies, when you wear Lulu Lemon pants, PLEASE for the love of the powers at be, wear underwear. Short-style, boy-cut, whatever. Just wear underwear. The thought of you not wearing underwear, is gross.

In my homeland, I've also seen girls where track pants over top of jeans, and wear their track pants low.
I think that's a style specific among the people there, so I won't rant about how OBVIOUSLY stupid that is.

That is all the time I have for being angry at the world. I have more complaints, but these are the ones that seem immediately pressing. Please, fair Internet, avoid these idiocies. Please.

No comments:

Post a Comment