My Important Contributions to Society

GUESS WHAT, INTERNET! I AM FUCKING EMPLOYED.

Yeah, that's right. I managed to get a job. Yeah, a job. I get paid for it and everything. What is my highly esteemed position, you ask? Manager? CEO? Inventor? Esteemed author? Award-winning.... something? President of the world? No. Better.

I hold signs.

Yep, I hold a sign for a mattress company in my hometown. I let everyone know that they're in business, that they sell mattresses, and that they're prices are totally bitchin'. Of course, this HIGHLY coveted position, this intellectually stimulating and high-paying endeavor is what I've always wanted to do. I work weekends for $50 per day, 5 hours of work each day. I get a hundred bucks a weekend, essentially.

This, in essence, was my first day of work:

And then I walked back and forth.

And then I saw ducks!

And then I continued to walk back and forth.

I finally began to embrace my sign-holding role. I was less embarrassed, I was getting in the groove.

And then.

Snow is a bitch.

On Sunday, it was basically the same deal, except I made friends with bearded men, at the place where I take my break. 

One of them had a "Mennonite Maniac" sticker on his truck. I found that amusing. 

I'll be sure to update you on any exciting sign developments in the near future. I will also be sure to draw fewer trees in my next post. 

I'm so sorry about those trees.

Sorry about the shortness. I'll be back soon, Internet. For now...

My Kitty! =3

See you next time, Internet. I'm working on a new post, so it shouldn't be too long now!

Things I Hate (Part 1: An Indefinite Part Series)

I hate a great many things, like most people do. Little things, stupid things that just make our lives a LITTLE worse. Inconveniences that are SO inconvenient that HATE is an appropriate word to describe how intense you feel about them.
I'm kicking this series off by giving an angry scowl to the Blue Tooth headset. Nifty, for driving. Kinda neat for not having to hold on to your phone and get your ear sweaty. NOT okay for grocery store line ups.
It starts like this:

And then there's a pause. A calmness, a stillness that makes it seem as if the very fabric of the universe has unraveled. Then... You get this:

And then I cry.

SORRY mysterious person on a Blue Tooth headset. Maybe if you wore a SIGN or something identifying yourself as a headset-wearer, we would get along, 

This problem will only get worse. I can feel it. 

Grocery store line up people who get all mad because THEY look crazy talking to themselves, and then embarrass you for thinking that they may have been addressing you, must be stopped. 

It just makes grocery shopping that much worse.

On another note, LOOKIT THIS. 

Figured I'd need to calm y'all down after freaking you out with Satan-woman. That's all for this post, folks! Tune in tomorrow, when I post something else!